Graduation - Chapter 6
As I sat down to write this post, things got very real for me. It’s one thing to tell you funny stories of my childhood- it’s a whole other thing to get real deep. But again, I feel like I need to tell the complete story so that you understand where I am coming from.. So…. Buckle your seat belts, because for the next few chapters… SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL.
MY GRADUATION
Class of 1995
As I mentioned before… I grew up a Jehovah’s Witness. And when you have been baptized, which I was at the age of 12, and you decide to leave – you are Disfellowshipped. Some might call it Excommunicated. This means that no one who is a Jehovah’s Witness is allowed to talk to you. That includes your parents, in my case my sister, or anyone else.
Now, I made this decision to leave knowing full well the consequences, but I made it because I knew that I did not believe in this anymore. Take that, and couple it with the fact that I was constantly on stage giving “talks.” I was knocking on your door every Saturday telling you about the bible. I was a Liar. A hypocrite. It got to the point that I thought that everyone knew I was lying to them. So… I had to go. And go I did.
But it did not REALLY sink in that my parents were really going to ignore me until my Graduation. Think about YOUR Graduation…... Your family in the stands… Mom crying as she took your picture in your cap and gown. ..The whole family holding signs and screaming your name… A dinner for you afterwards.
Nope – none of that.
When I walked down that aisle there were no signs, no one in the stands, no one cheering my name. When I walked down the aisle and they said my name the cheers I heard were from my close friends who I went to school with, that knew I was alone. But I waved! I was not waiving to anyone in particular. But everyone else waived when they walked down the aisle – so I did too - so as to not look awkward or stuck up.
Afterwards, I cheered for all of my friends walking. And I joined two other family’s dinners. My boyfriend’s grandparents , uncles, and aunts kept questioning where my parents were. And I watched my boyfriend’s mother shooshing them, shaking her head to tell them to stop asking. But I was very happy to be with my really close friends who knew what was up.
About a week later my Grandpa (my best friend) told me that Obaba (my little tiny Japanese Grandma) went out and stood in the sun with her umbrella to watch me walk, all by herself. And then when they said my name she went home. She wasn’t supposed to be there because she was also a Jehovah’s witness. But she wanted to make sure someone was there for me when they called my name.
And then I went to work.
Now… I must end this Chapter with a few thoughts. First, there is a Happy Ending to this story. My parents and I are very close these days. So don’t get too mad.
Also, I came to realize how important my true friends are. And several years later, I am still great friends with the girls cheering for me in the stands. I don’t see them very often, but I love ‘em! And for many years to come I have counted my friends as the most important people in my life. During my early adulthood I surrounded myself with TONS of people. Everywhere I went. I even moved some of them into my house with me so that I could constantly have people around me, and never be alone.
But that day I realized that my childhood was over. I had made my decision, and I was on my own. Being on my own, and knowing that I could only count on myself has shaped just about every decision I have made going forward for the rest of my life. I always joke that I have 2-3 back-up plans. But it’s not a joke. I really do – about EVERYTHING.
It took me many years to be okay to be by myself - But I have learned and become more powerful and happier because of it.