Car Sales WOMAN - Chapter 7

After Graduation I started looking for a full time job that paid more, and saw an ad in the newspaper (that's where we used to look for jobs kids) that promised a ton of money to sell cars.  I don't know how the hell I thought I would know how to sell cars, but I also thought I was invincible at 18 - so there you go!

I interviewed with a nerdy, red headed, fast talker.  Total car salesman!  Good God, his tie matched his suspenders!  He promised that if I just did what he told me that I would make "as much money as I wanted to make." SOLD.  I sold Mazda's, Nissan's, and used cars.  And I was good at it!

The General Manager and Sales Manager of the car dealerships were the Myers Brothers.  They were both less than 5 feet tall, dressed in a three piece suit every day, and to this day are some of the most hilarious people I know!  I mean, you cannot make this shit up!  I do not know where they were from, but they both had a very slight southern accent.

They talked real fast, usually yelling, and both had a vein popping out of their head most of the time.  They were constantly yelling at us to go sell something, get the fuck out of their office, close the god damn deal.  On and on...  For whatever reason they totally believed that I could sell cars so they just kept yelling at me.

Every day, six days a week, 12 hours a day, I would hear them yelling:  "Go sell a Fucking Car Murray!"  "Get those long ass legs out there and show those fuckers who's boss!"  I would come back with a deal and they would get all excited "You sexy little minx you!  I knew you could do it!"  They never got fresh with me - just loved to yell at me.  I loved those freak'n guys!

I was a young naive girl, hanging out with grown men every day.  It was a huge difference from my live-in boyfriend who was usually home smoking pot and playing video games in his basketball shorts.  They would talk about their girlfriends, dates they were taking them on, clubs they were hitting that night.  It was completely foreign to me - I was just barely out of high school.

But I tried to keep up and act cool. I wore low tops, short skirts, and high heels.  12 hours a day, running all over the lot, opening hoods, kicking tires, selling cars!  It was work hard, play harder for these guys - and I was in for the ride!

Everyone used to go to a local bar every single night to have dinner and have drinks.  I ended up becoming very close friends with the bartender, Stacy, and soon enough we were hanging out just about every day.  Because I hung out with all of these older guys, and bartender - everyone thought I was 21.  So naturally I began drinking.  But I was so worried about getting drunk and blowing my cover that I walked around half the time with a sprite colored up with limes or grenadine so that no one would know that I wasn't drinking.  My bartender friend, Stacy, would help me out and tell everyone that they had alcohol in them.

I learned how to drink, cuss, smoke, and act grown up in that year that I was a car saleswoman.  There were a couple of big brother types that you used to say things like... "Stand up straight like a woman, don't slouch like a child."  "You eat this or that when you are on a date with a man."  "Stop smoking - you look like trash."  Some even taught me how to cook.  Others taught me how to salsa dance.

All of these guys were friends with other guys that used to throw parties all the time.  It only took me a couple of times of getting caught up in a "private party" before I realized I was in over my head.  Luckily there was always one of these "big brothers" to save me.  Followed by a long lecture on how I am still too naive to be running around by myself.

There was even a time that I took off to Vegas with Stacy and another bartender.  Again, only 18 years old - I was so excited to be on a girls road trip to Vegas!We grabbed a couple of beers and headed to the slots.  Second turn I hit the jackpot and won!  I knew that I wasn't supposed to be gambling, let alone drinking, so I grabbed Stacy and threw her in the chair.   I didn't say anything and just casually walked away.  I was stopped by security pretty quickly.

"Ma’am... are you 21?"  

"Yes."  Oh shit I'm still holding my beer!"

Can you come with us please?

""OK"  Holy Shit!

They took me into a room full of cameras and showed me a video of myself drinking a beer and gambling.  All I could remember was the scene in the movie Casino (that was my favorite movie and had just came out a few month earlier).  Remember the part... where they guy has to put his hand down flat on the table and the other guys hammer them down! Auuugghhhh!!! I just kept making a fist with my hands so they wouldn't break my fingers!

Suddenly a policeman walks in the room.  A big burly guy who everyone called "Bear."

"Do you know why you have been pulled in here?"

"Nooooo....." (my fist clenches even harder)

"Because I do not believe that you are 21, but here you are with a beer and a jackpot win.  What should we do here?"

"Bear... I don't have my ID but if you let me go I promise to leave right away and never come back!"

"And you do not get your Jackpot win either."

"Ok...."

I had won and lost $1,800 but I got to keep my fingers!!!!  I found my girl friends as fast as I could.  But then as I was leaving I realized that I needed a picture with Bear!  Yes, I was like this at 18 too!  I laugh every time I see this picture. What was I thinking??? 

I owe a lot to the car lot guys, to Stacy, and to the Myers brothers.  I can't help but to think that they toughened me up just enough - just in time to prepare me for what happened next....