You Can't Reason With Crazy

I watched this week as a friend of mine argued over and over again with someone on the phone.  The whole conversation made NO fucking sense.  After a few minutes of listening to this, only because we were in the car together, did I realize that they were each trying to convince the other of their point.

She got off the phone frustrated - they were both now clearly mad at each other, and nothing was solved.

I knew exactly what she was going through because I have been through it so many times myself- we all have.  It's called... needing to be right.

And I don't mean that as an asshole.  I just mean that we completely believe that we are right - so we just HAVE to convince the other person of it.  It is just so important that before the conversation is over, they MUST truly believe in their heart of hearts exactly what they believe.

Well, if you continue on this path - you've got a long frustrating road ahead of you.

It has taken me years not to give a damn whether someone believes that I am right or not. Sure!  There are certain times here or there where I MUST convince someone that my way is better - like if the mistake they are going to make is about to cost me a lot of money.  Or if my child is about to do something really stupid.  Of Course!  But for the most part - we really just want to be right.  OR... we want the other person to believe that what WE believe is the RIGHT way.

This might surprise you - but I don't care about winning.  I never have.  That's why I never cared about sports.  I never cared about being first place.  And maybe that is why this subject is an easier one for me to stand on my soap box about?  Maybe...

What drives me is to see if I can do it.  Can I conquer this THING?  And can I be recognized for conquering it?  Let's be honest - I like the recognition!  :)

But in order to conquer anything - the last thing I need is for someone to believe that I am right.  Most of the time in my life people thought I was crazy.  Who cares?  Let them sit and complain about their own life and leave me out of it.  Are they financing my mission or something?  No?  Well then... I will just continue to conquer the next thing.  Whether they believe in what I do or not, has no merit to whether I will be able to do it or not.But when your motivation is being right- you are going to drive yourself nuts.  This constant debate of nothingness.  And if you think about it - if their opinion is so bothersome - then what do you care?  Have you ever tried reasoning with a crazy person?  Maybe they are crazy because they are drunk, high, or just plain crazy.  You know what I mean... YOU CAN'T REASON WITH CRAZY - they DON'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!

Don't believe me... just check these political conversations on Facebook.  Why are you engaging?  You are never going to change their beliefs - just like they are never going to change yours.  If you are involved in this madness, then you just like to fight/ debate.  And if that's your reason - then good for you!  Have at it.  Otherwise, you are just trying to reason with YOUR OPINION of crazy.

Now back to normal every day conversations - if it does not physically affect your life.  Don't worry about it.  Again I ask you.... can someone change what YOU believe just by a simple conversation or a causal debate?  Has it ever happened?  Then let them believe what they want to believe.  WHO.... CARES....

And I tell you this - if you DO CARE so much.  Then think about why you care.  Really.  Why do you care?  If it's not because you are saving their life in someway.  Like really saving their life.  Not saving them from STUPID.  Then who.... cares?

Your friend dating a loser?  You talk to them and try to show them the truth, and they want to argue about how much they love them?  They are CRAZY in love.  Let them be.  It will all work itself out.

You have another friend who has a dead beat kid, or uncle, or ex that they need to get out of their lives - but they keep supporting anyway?  This is their FAMILY. Leave them alone, it will work itself out.  Family is nothing BUT crazy.

Or you have someone who believes in some kind of crazy political view that is so astronomically idiotic that it makes you crazy.  Why?  How is this affecting your life?  Let it go.

Name the time that anyone was ever able to talk you out of these three things above.  Name it.  It's never happened.

So then what do you do?  Let them talk.  Smile politely.  Hang up.  Move on.  Let them be.

Who cares.

You've got way too many other things to worry about than whether they are stupid or not.  That is someone else's problem.