This is Not a Competition. It is a Cooperative.

When we are young girls we were constantly in competition with each other.  Some girls were always trying to be the most popular. Then the next girls would try to be closest or liked by the most popular girl.

Me?  I was a big coke bottle glasses wearing, super tall, gangly 10 year old just trying to be included with the cool girls.  Before that I used to hang out with the boys, not a care in the world, playing kickball.  Now, I would practice for hours on the bars.  Remember those?  When you would wrap your sweatshirt on the bar and see how many times you could swing all the way around.  I wanted to make sure I could keep up with the cool girls around me.

Then Middle School – what a mess!  We were all completely hormonal.  Just a bunch of girls, PMS-ing – not understanding what was wrong with us or what was happening to our bodies.  Good God.  We had no idea how to control all the hormones that just showed up.

And then in High School.  That’s where the competition really started with the Homecoming Queens, Cheerleaders… each “kind” of group had their own leaders.  And as teens we wanted to be seen.  We wanted to stand out.  And we wanted to be recognized. At least to the people we cared about being recognizable to.

Sound familiar?  Of course.  Because we may be 10, 20, 30 years older today – but we still care.  We still want to be recognized.  We still want to be seen as the “cool” kid – whatever that means.  But now it is our opportunity and duty as adults to teach the younger generations on how to do it right.

Because trying to be the “cool” kid will always be a way of life.  Whether you admit it or not.

Maybe it’s in your industry.  Maybe it’s in the PTA meetings.  Maybe it’s in the Mommy groups.  Or Maybe it’s in your church.

The point is – everyone has the want and desire to be the cool kid.  And there’s nothing wrong with that. What matters is HOW you do it.

Think about someone you admire.  Someone who stands out to you.  This is a better exercise if it is someone you have a personal relationship with.  In this day and age, at least in my world, the people I admire most – who seem like the leader of the cool kids – are the ones who do the most for others.

They build others up.

They support others.

They brag on others.

Take a look at their Facebook feeds and comments on other posts.  Most likely they are promoting someone else.

Because the ones who stay the leaders of the cool kids are those supporting other leaders doing good works.  Why?  Because it is a COOPERATIVE instead of a COMPETITION.

Now think about someone who is CONSTANTLY bragging about themselves WITHOUT building others up.  It is absolutely OK to brag.  I do it all the time!  But these people who only brag about themselves are never the leaders.  They are never the head of the cool kids.  They are a team of ONE.  Why?  Because they are takers.  They do not give of themselves.  They do not see past themselves.  And usually – they are on the defense!

It takes all of us to spread the word.  And with Social Media today – it is so easy.  It is so easy to brag on people.  It is so fun to brag on them!  And we all need each other.  None of us can do it alone.  We must all be each others INFLUENCERS, Cheer Team, Fan Club.

I have seen true leaders go through their darkest days, be vulnerable, and even disappear for a while.  But when they reappear, they are thankful, grateful, and somehow building others up.  Isn’t it amazing the strength WE DRAW from them?  Isn’t it amazing how much we want to then build THEM back up?  Brag on them.  Compliment them?

This is a Cooperative.  A cooperative of energy that we must keep giving out to our own personal groups.  To our tribes.  When they need us most we give. Even when it feels like we have nothing else to give of ourselves. But how wonderful this love is when it comes back to us 10 fold.

By doing this, by always being GIVERS, and by paying it forward – even when we are ourselves depleted – is how we are filled back up.  When we are raised up by others. And when we are the true COOL KIDS.  When we are the leaders.

This is a COOPERATIVE.  Not a Competition.