The Pivot
I found a very cool “Basketball Definition” of PIVOT in the Dicitonary:
piv·ot ˈpivət/a movement in which the player holding the ball may move in any direction with one foot, while keeping the other (the pivot foot ) in contact with the floor.
I love this definition. It makes total sense to me when thinking about my life. So many times I have found myself in an uncomfortable situation. Maybe it was about a friend. Maybe it was about a relationship, or usually – it’s about work.
These situations always start out the same, don’t they? First it’s a little sticky. Then it get’s uncomfortable. Then it gets messy. Then the shit just blows up in your face. Right about now you have thought of one or two of these situations.
So what do you do? Well, as the definition goes – the ball is in your hands. No matter what the situation is – it is up to us to decide the next move. You cannot wait for someone else to
Be a better person or…
Understand your viewpoint or…
Change what they are doing..
I remember when I was in my early 20’s I had a boyfriend who I had been with for years. But we got to the point where we fought more than we laughed. In fact, I do not think we had laughed in a while. It was just kind of… a habit. I think we have all been there. Where did the spark go? Are you even having sex anymore? Probably not. You lost your MOJO.
So how long are you going to stay? Is this person going to change? So how long are you going to do this for?
I knew I had to go. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I cried for months. But I cried for, essentially, my security blanket. I was not crying for some kind of love lost. Because it really wasn’t there. I cried because a piece of my “body” was gone. The piece that I did not need anymore.ˈ
pivət/And if it comes to work you can’t wait for
The industry to catch up to you or…
Your boss to agree with you and change the way he does business or…
Your teammates to get on board
That’s just not how it works. Much as we would all like to believe that with a little patience…
No it won’t. Not when it's time to pivot.So, follow the definition… Hold the ball (aka your life) and move in any direction with one foot.You can do anything you want to do. It’s just a matter of doing it.
Do you need to leave your relationship?
Do you need to quit your job?
Do you need to separate yourself from your energy sucking friend?
Do you need to take a chance?
You can do anything you want – you just have to have the courage to do it.
Leaving your relationship could be extremely messy. And if you know in your heart that you have tried everything – then you need to move on – because the other person is never going to change. There is no amount of love that will make them change by now. So step 1. Where will you go. What do you need to do to take care of you?
Leaving a friendship can sometimes be just as hard. But if this person is not lifting you up – you have to find a way to separate yourself. You need to break up with them. Again, it does not matter how much time you invested. If they are an energy sucker - they are an energy sucker.
And also remember. People change. Sometimes for the good, sometimes not. So the person who could have been perfect for you years ago - could be the absolute wrong person for you now. There could be no major reason - you just do not make sense for each other anymore. Don't try to force it.
AND NO ONE OWES ANYONE ANYTHING.
Total side story - just recently one of my girlfriends asked me why I never post on Instagram, only Facebook. I told her that I did not understand Instagram and I did not have time figure it out.
So she yelled at me and told me "Stop acting old! Instagram is the way the world works so don't use it as an excuse. Figure it out!"
She is right. I gotta figure it out- so I am slowly trying. And I appreciate her for setting me straight.
Now career wise… I never suggest just leaving a job with no back up. So if you hate your job, or if your job is going nowhere and you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it. Or dreading the fact that you have to go in each day. It’s time to go! So what are you doing to get ready to leave? What are you doing to better yourself for the next role?
And before you do this… make sure you are being really honest with yourself.
Are you miserable because your boss is an asshole? Ok – approved. Can’t do anything about that.
Are you changing because your pay structure changed? Do you understand why it did? And are things really better out there? And is starting all over again with a new company and new products worth it? Then do it. But don’t kid yourself into thinking it will be easy.
Is your industry changing? I am seeing it every day. We are all shopping differently. We are all getting our information differently. It is all about instant gratification. Everything has to be done online, and even better – on our phones. What are you doing to change with it? It doesn't matter if you do not agree with it, or think it doesn't make sense. IT... IS... CHANGING with or without you.
And like the definition says….
a movement in which the player holding the ball may move in any direction with one foot, while keeping the other (the pivot foot ) in contact with the floor.
Don’t get crazy. Keep the pivot foot on the floor, fully grounded. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you and have you making rash decisions because you’re pissed. Sleep on it. Nothing is going to happen between now and tomorrow morning that will prohibit you from making the pivot move you want to make.
Good Luck!